May 25, 2015

WHERE SEEKING ENDS, THE JOURNEY BEGINS


I grew up with a strong base spirituality in my home. My mom always said, “God’s plan for you only includes good.” While I couldn’t begin to understand her comment in my youth, I’ve come to know just how true it is.

Before coming to Sahaj Marg meditation three and a half years ago, I had had my fair share of exploring. I was raised with a beautiful metaphysical foundation in Christian Science, but after college my thirst for inner discovery continued elsewhere. Over the next three years, my exploration prepared me in countless ways. I learned about “karmic healing”, became involved in the yoga and kirtan community, and was studying to convert to Judaism, took ten day Vipassana mediation retreats. All of these rites of passage forged new pathways of understanding my connection to the Divine. I will always cherish the immensity I learned in those few years.

But I was in a lot of emotional pain. There was a nagging yearning, unfulfilled. There were times I was driving home down the freeway, crying, singing in prayer to be guided. It was a time of much excitement, discovery and inspiration. It was also a time of existential agony. I knew there was a divine hand, guiding my life. But how to sustain that sense of connection, when so often I fell back into emotional overwhelm?

A friend and I had been connecting for over a year since we met one fateful Fourth of July. We would hike, spending our time talking about my conversion process, about God, about life. She was a huge support for me on my inspirational journey. One day in late 2011, she invited me over to her house. I don’t know what clicked, but I finally decided to try the meditation she had been practicing for over twenty years.

When I first took my introductory meditation sittings, I had no idea the profound changes that were to be in store for me. I liked the idea of having a practice. I liked the idea of sustaining a practice. I was still learning how to fold it in every day. But after a couple months, I decided to make an effort to do both the morning meditation and the evening “cleaning” every day. And somehow it just worked out. I found myself keeping consistent, and enjoying the small glimpses and my curiosity drove me onward.

Within a few short months, Sahaj Marg became the primary vehicle for my inner journey. There was an effective practice that brought joy and stability to my days. There was a community that helped me sustain the practice. There were preceptors to gently encourage me to continue and deepen. There was literature and speeches to satiate my intellectual interests. It had the aggregate of every aspect I had yearned for in my heart. I felt like I had finally found my spiritual home.  Though I had to go through different expressions of my search, my mother’s words rang true: God’s plan did include good. The good that I found in this “natural path” has only grown exponentially. And the good that’s grown in my heart continues to bless my life.

No comments

Post a Comment

INNER EMANATION © - DESIGNED BY HERPARK